I have an innate fear of being thrown out of the herd, of being ostracized. Yes the herd takes care of me but with conditions. there is no unconditional love. whereas I did experience it (with healthy attachment) that way when I was very small and my mother took care of me without me having to do anything in return. And at some point there was a turning point where I found out how the hares really ran here on earth. That love was indeed conditional.<\/p>\n
So I adapted. I developed a modified self that moved like an avatar in the world, controlled by a security system with a spokesperson, my thinking self. I built an I with what was available to me. That is the human condition.<\/p>\n
By trial and error, I became wiser. Above all, shame and embarrassment were my portion. Shame that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t know the rules, didn’t know what I didn’t already know. Too often things went wrong when I just spontaneously did my thing. More no than yes was my part. Shame crept into me like an uninvited guest who did get the nicest and biggest room.<\/p>\n
Guilt and shame are about me, while regret and remorse are about others.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have an innate fear of being thrown out of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book"],"yoast_head":"\n