Trauma occurs in the presence (or absence) of others. As such, it is a social wound. Who can heal in the presence of others. Trauma is like a bypass to keep me safe. That bypass also causes all sorts of diseases. Western medicine seeks the solution in the individual and mainly with drugs and surgery. Other cultures seek the solution more in the social, in the collective of the immediate community.
Trauma takes away your self-determination, takes away your agency, takes away your capacity to act, takes you out of connection, takes away hope, reduces your opportunity for self and co-regualtion. It initially makes you a victim with no power to act. Trauma causes shame and exclusion. And because it is a social wound that needs connection I get into a kind of perpetual circle.
The shame in me exists with the grace of not sharing, not connecting, because I am no good, there is something wrong with me, I am dirty, unworthy, emittable. This secret of my shame hinders my recovery. My problem is simultaneously the solution. A typical catch-22
Trauma is the ultimate alone experience.
Liberation lies in regaining control of my life, as an adult.
Reflection is a first step in my recovery. Reflection on what happened, going back to the origins of shame and conditioning. But because I am degenerated into my protective adaptations (read ego) this is my world view, I am unworthy and so this is what it is. Reflection with another is the key that opens the gateway to space. Another with presence and capacity. Another who is able to embrace my grief and underlying pain with full presence and without agenda or protocol. To be able to hold me, including everything, and give me space.
