Sex is in many relationships primarily a distraction, a dissociation. Yes it is fun and feels great (so does ice cream and a good workout at the gym). Or sex may be a subconscious trauma reactive trade-off for continued attention and a thin sliver of healing intimacy. But being close to another human needs an underlying basis of selftrust and deep intimacy. Intimacy as being defined as being with oneself, with everything there is, in the presence of another human. Intimacy is non-physical. Intimacy is of the spirit, of the connecting.
With oneself in the first place.
Otherwise it turns to shallow quick(dick)sand. As many people know all too well. This is what the 7 Veils is about. What Virginity is about. What no-sex before marriage may be about. Not only may it heighten the desire. It helps open you as a woman emotionally and neurologically. It allows for time to be intimate in a non sexual, non physical way. So you can open yourself beyond the painful conditioning from trauma. Then aimless physical contract and conscious penetration expands the being of a single Being. It transports us beyond the physical boundaries of our skin and known universes. Beyond the Yoniverse. Then there can be a heathy relationship without addicktion. With oneself and with the other.