For my BodyMind, there are two types of safety. Real security and false security. The difference is the time of measurement. If I measure outside myself then there is a kind of objective perception of safety. An open square on a sunny day seems safer than a dark alley late at night with two men coming at me screaming loudly with sticks. That’s about real security in dt moment.
And then there is the sham security and sham insecurity. Through my senses, information enters my brain. There, among other things, the amygdala goes to work with the info to determine whether something is safe or unsafe. That assessment also uses memories and previous responses that worked in similar situations. If that assessment gives a different outcome then something that seems safe can feel very unsafe and vice versa. Then that sunny, open square is a horror, because I have agoraphobia, for example.
To balance my BodyMind, I once made adjustments to still feel safe in an unsafe situation. I just moved the goal posts a little further apart and now I do score.
An example is when I was beaten by my father it was something that within the scope of love, connection and nurturing could not be grasped by my BodyMind. So I adjusted the scope and my system now classifies the action differently. By placing it under love, for example, or that it must be because of me. With that new explanation, the interen story is correct again and so I am (seemingly) safe again. The BodyMind can move on again. But now with a new definition. So hitting is love and so I hit my child too. Not good!
With this re-classification, wrong things are “talked” right and good things are “talked” wrong or even not experienced at all. That friend who is downright nasty, well he means well. Or someone just thinks it’s totally normal to be abused. Copy Paste. Nothing wrong. Well so!!!
