It may be that you have a trigger on being alone. I have. Then the restlessness comes up and my BodyMind looks for regulation. With me it came in the form of eating, walking around, watching porn, contacting someone for sex, snacking on chocolate. Annoying compulsive behavior until I realized that was where my trigger was.

Alternatives to regulation when you trigger on being alone:

  • Get a dog or cat to take care of
  • Plants in your room that you lovingly care for
  • Connect with your inner child, who is always with you. Children sometimes have an imaginary friend who is always with them.
  • Maybe you still have hugs from now or in the past that give you comfort. My son still had a thumb pad until 8 that regulated him and gave him security.
  • Ask a buddy to be on standby for when you are triggered. Or to be able to call or come by/visit. That could be a good neighbor, for example. Or even a distant friend via zoom. Discuss that you trigger on being alone and that sometimes you want to regulate through contact. Then the cards are on the table.
  • Or if you want to go 3.0 then get into the metaphorical fire. Do nothing on purpose. Then meditate on being alone. Observe what is happening. What thoughts, memories or images come to mind. To reflect on this while breathing calmly.
  • Belly to belly practice by David Cates has helped me work on my attachment issues. A duo-breath meditation in which you move in and out of contact while maintaining contact through the breath. Wonderful body work for people with damaged attachment styles.

Attention is the magic wand that changes everything

Once you are in the trigger there is a filter on everything that comes in.
In some, this is lifelong. Now that is a real lockdown where the key has been thrown away into a deep well.
Lotte 26/4/20