In everything I say there is also an interpretation on your part. The confusion can be in the nuances. And yes, my being changes per breath. Every day my world changes and my body changes. Changed by the interaction with the world my reaction to that world.
The core remains Internal Validation. Then any security from the environment falls back into the moment of here and now. And lapses any need or necessity for external validation.
Building on a perception, a perceived thought actually, is an activity of the mind. To experience safety in the external world, rather than in the internal world. External focus is much more sensitive to old triggers.
Yes feel, perceive, and also feel how your own touch changes your emotional “state.
The direct experience of something knows no above or below, no right or wrong. It is conceptless, or rather it is pre-understanding, it comes before a label is put on it. A child experiences a tree without knowing that it is a tree, that it is called a tree
Available – unavailable are relevant terms when you have a “need” for something. When the need expires, the relevance of the distinction also expires. The distinction between available and unavailable.
Every trigger is an opportunity for inner investigation. Like yesterday … with breathing and pushing against the wall, looking in the mirror. To feel how it is in your body versus getting lost in the story, “reveling” in it. Story, the story is actually a dissociation to not feel the felt and stored pain from the past now. So you go to the story outside of you, in this case about me and you and relationships. It is a direct distraction from what is really happening in your body.
Therefore, the pain body seeks out situations similar to the original trauma to essentially complete it as yet. Only, the triggers choose old resolution behaviors as the easiest path.
The way out of the swamp is sometimes to do something that is almost the opposite of the conditioned trigger behavior. E.g. if you dissociate into stories outside you then the opposite is to feel within you.
Understanding is irrelevant. It’s about feeling
Feeling is the language of your body. The body gives all the answers if you listen patiently.
Deep intimacy is especially nice. And that is what it is. Any label attached to it or any connection to any word concept detracts from the experience that it is
If there is no word, no label put on it, no “story” about it, what is different in your relationship/contact?
By definition, it is different for me than for you because we are each uniquely different. There is no shared reality in the story. At most in the moment of live contact and even then everyone’s experience is unique and different. Then there is no story and only personal experience. Ultimately, there is no shared reality. That is an illusion. At most there is a neurological sense of connection/contact and possibly safety.
All thoughts are like the images and texts in a private movie theater. Where only you are watching. There is no together.
Together is only outside and contextualized but not felt. Feeling is within and thus personally indivisible.
“alone you go faster, together you get further’…..
Yes you only watch the concepts/thoughts/stories/ideas/images in your head as if you were sitting alone in a private movie theater.
Your life experience is so personal that it cannot be shared directly with another person. Only through concepts such as language symbols can we “hint” at something but never share our experience directly.
At most, you can be together and be there for each other to share the present moment. The present moment. Without words. Without understanding and comprehension. Pure experiencing. Only in a together.
You are here all alone. I’m here all alone. That seems scary. For the most part, it is. So it is important to experience safety. To that end, there are many ways. Many are indirect (false security in concepts) and only partially do what we need or temporarily (addictions) after which fear strikes again. Direct safety is experienced in contact with our core, our body and in direct physical contact with others so that we can calibrate our system with our fellow herd members. Safety is in the group. Although for many this is actually unsafe due to previous experiences with groups with little love and awareness.
Lovemaking can be done with any human being. Man woman even with animals. Lovemaking is not necessarily penetration.
Lovemaking is awakening the outflowing love in the other with conscious touch.
Aimless Touching for own pleasure and the pleasure of the other Lovemaking can take hours. Sex usually 2 min
During lovemaking, genital contact can indeed occur. In which then the sexual act, possible ejaculation is totally irrelevant
Whereas if penetration occurs during lovemaking it is a coincidence rather than a preconceived idea
Being excited does not mean getting laid right away
What is Attraction? For example, someone may be attracted to a sexy man or woman but then these are often psychological reasons. Often unfathomable. There is then a deeper interest there. For example biologically the body wants strong genes. Then that tight jawline is sexy and attractive
Aimless Touching for own pleasure and the pleasure of the other person
No difference who you are with. It is all the highest degree of being together in a unique and secure union
I know so little about others. At most, I can make all kinds of fantasies and assumptions in my mind about those others. Mostly from how I think the world is and how I am. And that I am and how I think others also think and are not. But that’s not how it works.
So being engaged with another person is already a big deal. Let alone being engaged with the others in that other person’s life. And then empathizing about that about the relationship between the other person and those others and perhaps even more others than those others, that is quite a job. I would not start it. I myself have a lot to do with my own life that I already understand very little about. I often do not understand my own behavior and that is a much more interesting subject for me than looking outside myself. Looking outside myself Is for me usually an escape from looking inward. Because looking inward is looking at the only truth there is. Insofar as there is a truth.
We learn to compare to find security in an unsafe world. No one has taught us the value of our inner wisdom. Our compass is out of whack from an early age. By comparing, we let external insecurity in and forget to consult our bodies for certainty and direction. An unheeded body gets out of balance and often becomes ill.
Loving is my name. Remember Love is an overflowing outpouring of wellbeing that wants to be shared
Staying Close to Your Breath. Staying Close to Yourself.
That is the source of happiness. There is peace and joy. Outside of that is only illusion, an interpretation of Spirit based on past facts that in most cases are misinterpreted and one-sided. Beyond ourselves is a false truth. There is nothing but what is perceived by you now. And that which you perceive is not the truth.
Your own behavior that you perceive is often an outcome of all kinds of conditioning. By looking very carefully just at your own behavior exposes a lot of conditioning because the mind often brings in things from a past that have nothing to do with now in this moment.
Unfortunately, every thought comes from the past. Our thinking is not of this moment. In this moment there is only perception.
But for the mind, pure presence in this moment is too scary to rest in.
The mind lives in the past. Only knows things from the past. So every thought you have has nothing to do with this moment
And I mean every thought
So actually it is very easy. If there is a thought, then it comes from the past. Then it has to do with conditioning. By definition
Every desire comes from the past…. Desire that arises in the moment may hark back to memories of a fulfillment given to a similar desire in the past.
It stands or falls with what authority we attribute to thinking, and our minds. If we identify ourselves with what we think then by definition we are screwed
Communication and being open and honest has to do with our outer world. How can we be open and honest if we do not even have a view of who we are in essence.
Our thinking is an emergency tool. Is a tool for when we feel unsafe. This happens on a subconscious level. In my opinion, the basic attitude of every human being is insecurity.
Do you ever find out who you are in essence? The open-mindedness I see in my daughter…. We never get that back completely, do we? We have been through and experienced a lot. Well if you are not that thinking, you are nowhere at all!
True then you are nowhere and then you are nothing. Then you are only the perception in this moment. That is what non-dualism is about.
In essence, there is no I. There is no you. Is there only perception. I is a collection of protective behaviors of the organism to survive. Not exactly a romantic and warm image but unfortunately peanut butter, that’s all it is
Your fear points back to your fear of not mattering.
It is a comparison, a question about another, which the mind must temporarily, and improperly, give false security, based on the conditioning that is already there.
In deepest essence, you matter. You are here on earth to be you. To live your life according to your rules your impulses. Without the input of others. Without the input of culture. Without the influence that has been there to make you feel safe in difficult moments. And all the behavior that came from that. In essence, you are Love: An overflowing sense of well-being that you want to share with others.
Everything in the outside world is just a story. And those stories have nothing to do with us. At most, the mind, out of fear and survival instinct, takes elements from stories to create false security
For the mind, for your mind at this moment now, there is nothing but the letters you are reading now and the interpretation, from a past time, of those letters by the Mind. That has nothing to do with your essence of this moment.
Right now, for you, there is only the inward breathing that you notice right now and the feeling of your body if you pay attention to that right now. The latter is the truth of this moment. The rest is distraction
The mind is a simple instrument that cannot see itself. Like the ocean cannot see or understand itself. Like two-dimensional does not understand three-dimensional. And like three-dimensional four-dimensional cannot understand, imagine, contain.
People often use others to supplement their shortages. And blame others when delivery falls short. You are doing the same right now. Look inward, not outward when you experience irritation. That is the right place. That is where your liberation lies.
